Hey, 

I want you to know you’re not alone. 

I know how it feels to live in a perpetual cycle of daily addiction. I know what it feels like to think that there was nothing to do that could help how I felt inside except numb, avoid, distract. That’s not true though – you can do something.

I know how it feels to know that choosing booze or pills or powder does not work, and the helpless feeling of not knowing how to break free of it, to want better for myself and being unsure how to action. 

Addiction is a form of self-harm. It harms us, and it harms the ones we love. We *think* it’s only us that it’s hurting, but that ain’t true either. Our choices affect so many people around us, whether we’re aware of it or not, it doesn’t make it less true. 

I was the Queen of finding my rock bottom, and there have been MANY of them. I would not only find rock bottom, but I would drill it home, deeper, even further down with my self-hatred, just to be really sure if I hated myself. 

The thing about rock bottom is that it is a solid foundation for picking yourself back up and standing on your own two feet again. I mean that earnestly, coz, like I said, I’ve been there. 

I know what it feels like to decide enough is enough. There’s power in that. There is power in realising that we *always* have a choice. 

There is power is asking for help. There is power in following through with the help that is on offer. 

I know you can do this. 

I am living proof that when we are brave and face ourselves and our issues, our pain, our hurt, our inner turmoil, the hold that it has on us to keep us stuck, it dissipates. Slowly yet surely. One day at a time. 

I am three years without booze in my life and it was the best decision I made for myself. I chose myself. After years of hating myself, I chose myself, finally. What a relief. What a relief to realise I was waiting for myself this whole time. 

I chose to help that hurt little girl inside of me. I chose to find a new path, a path that moves forward to living a fuller life, rather than the spiral down closer to death. Because let’s be honest here, that addiction cycle is a spiral drawing us nearer and nearer to ending our lives. It is a very slow and very painful path to death.

You, in your real *true* form is waiting for you to choose them too. Little You is in there waiting for you to choose them. 

I watched this video recently and it hit home so much for me. It’s an Aussie guy who has also been in the same spiral downwards as us. He got himself out of it and there is so much wisdom in the way he presents his lived experience. Take heed, watch the whole thing. 

Get help. 

You are not alone. Only you can do this though. It is your choice. I am right here beside you cheering you on. 

I know you can do it. 

Lots of love,

Kate